Lie to You Page 8

  I’m floored by his statement, but as I sit and think about it, I begin to feel a little better. It’s marginal, but it’s a hell of a lot better scenario to stomach than the alternative. My anger toward Rebel lessens as my hatred for Florence grows.

  “That said, it doesn’t absolve him of responsibility or guilt.” Turning his head, Ransom assesses me. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m good,” I say, waving him off. It’s a lie, but I don’t want him thinking I’m some fragile creature that needs saving. I’m not. I’ve already proven that I can handle life’s many pitfalls. It just happens that I’ve fallen into a few of them recently.

  “Really? Because I don’t think you are.” Passing me his charming smile, Ransom bumps his shoulder into mine. “You don’t have to be strong all the time, you know? It’s okay to lean on people when you need to.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying I have big shoulders.”

  Despite my mood, I find myself laughing. The moment fades quickly, and then I am huddling into myself. I’m already depressed and I haven’t forgotten how he treated me this week. “Why are you so concerned all of a sudden?”

  “Excuse me?” Ransom asks, his forehead creasing.

  “You haven’t said a single word to me for days, but when you find me with Rebel, you freak out. And now this.” I lift my arm toward the door, indicating the confrontation that just happened. “I don’t know what to do with all of it.”

  Ransom stares at the floor, contemplating his response. When he finally speaks, his words are slow and lacking their usual confidence. “I guess…sometimes it just takes something drastic to make you open your eyes and see the full picture. Seeing you with Rebel today did that for me.”

  My head hurts. It feels as if I’m in the middle of a game of tug-o-war and I’m the rope. Rubbing my eyes, I try to wrap my head around the week’s events. First Rebel embarrasses me in front of his family, and then he claims me for his own. Ransom writes me off because I’m not what he expected, and then after witnessing me give his brother a blow job, seems to have experienced a change of heart.

  Am I missing something here?

  “So you’re saying seeing your brother come down my throat made you realize how much you want me? That’s fucked up.”

  Hanging his head, Ransom chuckles. “Yeah, I guess it is. But that doesn’t make it any less true, Joe.” Turning his head, he looks at me over one broad shoulder, those midnight orbs pleading. “I needed some time to wrap my head around what you…do, but I’m okay with it now.”

  “Call me crazy, but I don’t want to be with someone who is ‘okay’ with it. There’s nothing wrong with what I do. It’s an honest living.”

  “I know it is. It was a shock, Joe. I didn’t expect it, and it took me a little while to come to terms with it, but I’m not mad or upset and I’m not judging your choices.”

  “You could have fooled me,” I mutter.

  “I’m done fighting, Joe,” Ransom warns, his tone firm. “I’ve missed you these last few days. It’s been hell seeing you every day and not being able to talk to you or touch you.”

  “That was your choice,” I point out, my ire peaked. I can’t lie and tell him I’m okay with his decision to cut me loose without explanation.

  “Yes, it was, and I’m sorry.” Leaning sideways, he places his chin on my shoulder, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes. “Forgive me?”

  The gesture leaves me feeling conflicted. Lifting my chin, I refuse to look at him. “That’s the lamest apology I’ve ever heard.”

  Turning his head, he presses his lips the side of my neck. Instantly, a fission of electricity shoots down my spine. “I’m sorry I was an idiot.”

  “You were also an ass,” I add, a small smile beginning to take shape.

  “That too. I’m only a man, Joe,” he says, reaching up to take hold of my chin. “A simple creature in need of guidance. Won’t you guide me, Joe? Teach me to be better.”

  Goddammit, I am not falling for this am I?

  Yes. Yes, I am.

  Angling my face toward his, Ransom touches his lips to mine. They’re firm, demanding, and they tell me exactly where this is headed. Snaking his arm around my waist, Ransom draws me onto his lap. Complying, I straddle him, wrapping my arms around his neck, giving myself over to him.

  Sex doesn’t fix everything, but it sure as hell makes it more fun to deal with.

  Lying back on the mattress, I follow Ransom down. As we kiss and touch one another, I can’t help comparing him to Rebel. Ransom is gentler. He takes his time with me, exploring my mouth and body as though he wants to learn all of me and has all the time in the world to do it, whereas Rebel attacks, as if he can’t get close to me fast enough.

  Ransom’s calloused hands sneak beneath my shirt, gliding up the sides of my ribcage to cup my breasts. He kneads them, his thumbs stroking across my nipples until they become stiff points. My hips rock against his pelvis and I feel his hard length between my thighs, pressing against me, teasing me.

  Suckling my tongue, I moan into Ransom’s mouth and dive deeper into the kiss. My tongue explores his, touching and tasting, tantalizing. Making an impatient sound in the back of his throat, Ransom tugs at my shirt. Sitting up, I lift my arms and he rises up to meet me.

  As soon as the material clears my head, Ransom seizes control of my mouth. In this, he and Rebel are the same—they are dominate lovers.

  Helping each other out of the rest of our clothing, we fall back on the bed. Wrapping me in his arms, Ransom rolls us over so he is on top. My legs part and he fills the cradle I’ve provided as though he was made to be there.

  Nudging my nose with his, his eyes seem to smile back at me. “You’re unbelievably gorgeous.”

  My cheeks heat with the compliment. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” he purrs, dropping his head to kiss my lips. “Now tell me something flattering about me.”

  My lips split into a grin around his. “You have a fantastic ass.” Reaching down, I dig my fingers into both cheeks for emphasis.

  Ransom rocks against me, laughing as he buries his face into the crook of my neck and playfully bites the sensitive skin. I squeal and squirm, laughing along with him.

  This.

  This is why I love being with Ransom. He knows how to make me laugh. I don’t have to pry a smile from him because it comes so easily on its own. He can be moody, and he can be a dick, but he’s also incredibly forgiving and fun to be around.

  I feel lighter with him somehow.

  We sober as our parts rub together, creating delicious friction. That fast, playtime is over. Holding eye contact, Ransom tunnels a hand between us. Taking himself in hand, he slowly pushes into me.

  Staring into his eyes as he enters my body is an unforgettable experience. It’s sensual in a way that I have trouble describing, even to myself. At this moment, I feel completely connected to this man. All our troubles seem to melt away leaving only us behind to enjoy the multitude of pleasures our bodies can bring each other.

  Like we did in the backseat of my car, Ransom makes love to me. His moves are unhurried. The way his arms cage me in and his hands brush my hair from my face is tender and fills me with a divine feeling of satisfaction.

  This is something I’ve never experienced with Rebel. Not like this anyway. I have no idea if it’s something he even knows how to do. Tender isn’t a word I would ever use to describe him or how he is with me. Rebel makes me tremble, plays my body with expert precision, even as he pushes me to the brink of insanity.

  He demands a lot from me, knowing I’ll give it without question or hesitation. Just as a coin has two sides, he can be cruel and he can be caring. He doesn’t treat me with kid gloves. He looks into my eyes and he sees what lies beneath the surface. He recognizes the person inside who craves what he can deliver. He gives everything to me and more, sometimes pushing boundaries I never thought I’d cross and at the end of it all, he still manages to provid
e what’s necessary to make me feel safe and cared for.

  Rebel is ruthless. He knows what he wants and he takes it. He makes no apologies for his behavior. What you see is what you get. I both love and hate that about him.

  Ransom is different. For all their similarities, he couldn’t be more opposite from his brother. He treats me like I am breakable, like I’m something to be cherished. Something to be savored. When he kisses me, it feels like a bolt to my heart.

  They’ve both hurt me. They’ve both humiliated me. And they’ve both loved me in their own twisted way.

  Both of these men feed something inside of me, but only one man can fulfill my needs. Only one of them has shown me that he is more than what we set out to be—anonymous lovers. That I’m more than a quick roll between the sheets, but someone worth fighting for.

  It’s in this moment, as Ransom’s thrusting hips grow more frenzied and disjointed, that I realize I’ve found the answer I’ve been looking for.

  I know exactly which brother is right for me. Turning my face up, I claim Ransom’s mouth with such ferocity and passion that it sends him spiraling into an orgasm so powerful his back arches. Tearing his mouth from mine, Ransom throws his head back and roars his release.

  Collapsing on top of me, I pet his hair and sweat dampened skin until he relieves me of his weight and rolls onto his back. Pulling the blankets over us, I wait until his breaths even out before I slip quietly from the bed and out of his room.

  ELEVEN

  With finals only a week away, I do what so many others are doing and cut class. The weather is perfect, the clouds giving way to the sun, and I am in high spirits. That’s what happens when your mind is clear of distraction.

  After leaving Ransom’s bed and Rebel’s apartment¸ I went home with a plan in mind because the thing is, I refuse to give up. I refuse to be tossed aside or replaced by a jealous stand-in without a fight. I just need to work out some details before I can set it in motion. I’ll get started on that right after I finish studying.

  I’m reading about modern photography. Specifically, how the use of light and shadow create strong visual impact. Since my degree focuses on the technical aspects of visual arts, the core of my studies is steeped in it. Over the course of these last four years, I have taken sculpting, ceramics, and a ton of computer based classes. Yet, I feel no more or less prepared to enter the workforce than I was the day I graduated high school. But that won’t stop me from pursuing my dreams.

  I am staring at the pages of black text resting on my lap pondering this when a shadow falls over me. Tilting my head back, I squint past the blinding rays of sunlight to see who it is. As the face comes into focus, I am instantly annoyed.

  “Unless this has something to do with Annie, walk away.”

  “It does.”

  “Walk away anyway,” I snipe.

  As expected, Jason ignores my wishes and folds himself on the ground beside me. Draping his long arms over his raised knees, he looks out over the quad at passing students. “Annie is coming to talk to you later.”

  “About what?” I don’t bother hiding my irritation. If Jason’s willing to break our code of silence to tell me this, then it has to be bad.

  “You know what.”

  My head whips around, my eyes flaring with panic. “You told her?”

  “Fuck no,” he sneers. “I’m not stupid, but she suspects.”

  I already know she suspects, because she’s come to me once before. I dodged her then, but it looks like time is fast running out. I blame everything on Jason. He’s the one who caused this.

  I glare at the side of his head. If aliens exist, I wish they’d come down and beam Jason up to their mother ship. He deserves some serious ass probing for the shit I’m now forced to deal with. “The only reason she suspects anything is because you’re so damn transparent, you fuckwit.”

  “What about you, you juvenile slut?” His words are vicious, but they don’t affect me in the least. If anyone here is a slut, it’s him.

  “Sticks and stones, Jason. Besides, I know how to keep my mouth shut.” Snapping my book closed, I toss it into the grass at my feet. “So what’s the story? What am I supposed to tell her so she stops sniffing around?”

  Peering off into the distance, Jason grows quiet. I study his profile, unease slithering through my stomach because Jason is the kind of person who has an inborn need to fuck up everything for himself at regular intervals. In this instance, if he falls into old habits, he’ll be taking me down with him.

  “I’m considering telling her.” The way he says this is so causal, like he’s just announced his decision to have Jell-O for dessert, and it makes me want to throat punch him.

  “What for? So you can sleep better at night?” Asshole!

  “We have a kid on the way. What the hell do you expect me to do?”

  “What you’ve always done best: lie.”

  “Isn’t that why we’re sitting here now?” He slants a look at me and I can see in his blue eyes that he’s already made up his mind. I want to rail at him. He’s about to make my world implode and he couldn’t care less.

  “I can’t believe after all these years you’ve finally decided to grow a conscience,” I mutter in disbelief. Why now? What’s made him suddenly decide to grow a conscience? Combing my fingers through my long hair, I heave out a heavy breath. “I don’t suppose you plan on telling her all the sordid details of how you’ve spent your free time over the last four years?”

  His silence answers for him. Figures. So the only reason he’s dropping this at my feet is because it’s an immediate problem needing immediate answers. Aren’t I a lucky girl?

  “When is she supposed to come over?”

  “I don’t know. Later.”

  Some help he is. I can’t believe this is happening. “I don’t know what to even say to her.”

  “Just tell her the truth. Annie is a reasonable girl, she’ll understand.”

  “Yeah?” I ask, slanting him an incredulous look. “Is that why you told her about us hooking up four years ago, because she’s so damn understanding?”

  He pulls a face at me. “I didn’t tell her for the same reason you didn’t. Hurting Annie was never part of the plan.”

  “Maybe you should have thought about that before you whipped your dick out for half the campus to take a ride on.”

  He sneers up at me, but fuck him. I’m not to blame here, and if I have to look at his face a second longer, I’ll puke. Disgusted, I stand up. Brushing off the back of my pants, I gather my belongings. As I walk away, I think back to the start of my freshman year. It was all so new, so intimidating. There was always a party happening somewhere, and anyone worth anything went. When a girl in one of my classes invited me to tag along with some of her friends, I couldn’t risk saying no. The desire to fit in was front and center in my mind.

  Predictably, I drank too much, got wasted, and fell for the first hot guy to throw me a line. Unfortunately, that guy just so happened to be Jason. I didn’t know him from Adam back then, but he was cute and confident and he pulled me in with his easy charm—the things that have always been a weakness for me.

  We had hooked up every weekend for a month before I learned through the grapevine that Jason had a girlfriend. I’ve never been the type to steal another girl’s man and I never would have had sex with him if I had known. So I told him where to stick it and didn’t look back.

  I didn’t meet Annie until the second semester of that year when we ended up sharing the same Science lab. We became instant friends after nearly singing our eyebrows off trying to light a faulty Bunsen burner. A few weeks later, upon meeting up at DJ’s for a couple drinks, I found out who she was.

  In the interest of preserving our friendship and their relationship, Jason and I formed an agreement that day: we’d keep our mouths shut.

  Now, it looks like our deal is off. Annie wants answers, and Jason is prepared to give them to her. Or more like he’s willing to let me give them to her
. It’s something I’m not prepared to deal with but know I can’t continue avoiding.

  They say honesty is the best policy. When I really think about it, maybe it’s better that I’m the one to have to break it to her. It’ll give me a chance to make my case. There’s always the risk that she’ll never want to speak to me again, and I don’t know how I’ll handle it if it goes down like that, but the same goes for Jason. Passing the buck just ensured Jason’s first class ticket to Curbville.

  ***

  I chewed all my nails off this afternoon. I should have been going over my plans, but instead, I’ve spent the entire afternoon worrying about what I’m going to tell Annie when she gets here. I could pretend to know nothing. I could sugarcoat everything. Or I could do the honorable thing and come clean.

  I’ve decided to go with the truth.

  Lying to her has eaten away at me little by little every day, since the day I found out I’d slept with her boyfriend. I should have told her then, and risked that she’d hate me forever, but I’m a selfish person and I didn’t want to lose the only friend I had at the time.

  I’m probably still going to lose her, and waiting this long is going to make it hurt so much worse, but it gives me solace to know that Jason will finally get what he deserves. It galls me that he’s skated by this long. I’m not the first, nor the last, girl he’s screwed around with.

  Jason is a sleaze and he doesn’t deserve someone as good as Annie.

  The knock I’ve been expecting all day comes just before dinnertime. My nerves jangle something fierce as I go to answer the door. Annie stands on the other side, looking fresh as a daisy in a pretty pink blouse, black skinny jeans, and matching pink ballet flats.

  Neither of us says a word. We both know why she’s here. She smiles softly as I step back to let her inside.

  “Do you want anything before we do this?” I ask, cutting straight to the point. She shakes her head no and claims a seat on the sofa. I take a moment to grab a bottle of water, my throat dry as the desert. When I sit on the couch, it’s on the edge, just like my nerves, and I leave a cushion empty between us.