Mami: Based on a True Story Read online

  Mami

  by JC VALENTINE

  Copyright © 2017 by J.C. Valentine

  Cover design by Brandi Salazar Editorial Services

  Interior book design by J.C. Valentine

  Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the above author of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  Para Benny

  Siempre en mi mente, para siempre en mi corazón.

  1

  Only in my wildest imaginings would I have entertained the idea of seeing Alejandro standing outside my home, smiling as I opened the door. Waiting for me…to come outside and kiss him.

  I shouldn’t give him the time of day. After his disappearing act, I should tell him to return to his life and forget about me as I will forget about him.

  But that would be a lie, and it would go against everything now raging inside of me: hurt, excitement, desire. Love. The truth is, he’s burned himself into my soul. I feel it as an ache rooted deep down inside, and it tells me it’s not going to go away anytime soon. If ever.

  How, in a matter of two short weeks, could he have managed such a feat? I don’t have an answer for that. I just know that’s what happened. He’s a part of me now, for better or worse.

  It takes all the restraint I have not to rush down the steps and into his waiting arms. I have my pride, and I have my dignity. I won’t obliterate them both by making a fool of myself…even though that’s exactly what I want to do most.

  Alejandro stands there, dressed simply in jeans and a long-sleeve shirt. Despite the frosty weather, he doesn’t wear a coat, and the mom in me notices immediately. Isn’t he cold? I am. All the more reason to seek shelter in his arms.

  I pad down the sidewalk to the curb, folding my arms to stave off the chill as much as to hold myself together as I stop to stand in front of him. He’s all smiles. I’m all nerves. The kiss is imminent, I can feel it. But as much as I want it, I hold back.

  “Mami, it’s so good to see you.”

  God, it really is. His eyes are so expressive. Dark brown and filled with gentleness and affection—affection that I no longer fully trust. “Yeah, it is.” Holding back has never been so damn hard!

  “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too,” I parrot back. It’s honest, but I think we’re both aware that I’m not going to give him anything more than he gives me. Right now, vulnerability is something I’m not sure I can afford. “What are you doing here?”

  He comes closer, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Vulnerability on his part helps me to feel more in control. “My boss sent me and the guys to drop off some equipment. When we passed Ohio, I thought of you. I had to see you.”

  So I was a passing thought then? I wonder. “I’m glad you came,” I admit, because for some reason, looking into those eyes makes it impossible for me to lie. I’m an open book, whether I want to be or not.

  His smile is as brilliant as the first time he laid it on me at the restaurant. My knees go weak, and my heart pitter-patters in my chest. I’m breathless, which is a problem, since I’m already struggling to hold it together.

  “I need to kiss you, Mami. I missed those lips.”

  I can’t hide my smile. It’s instantaneous, revealing my innermost thoughts and feelings. I’m suddenly aware that holding back was nothing more than a theory, a well-meaning, passing thought that never really had any base with which to stand on. My willpower is disturbingly pathetic. I barely recognize myself right now.

  “Then what are you waiting for?”

  My invitation is accepted immediately, and Alejandro swoops in. Just like the first time, there is no holding back, no hesitation. His mouth is on mine, his lips a perfect fit as he devours me like a starving man.

  I’m no better. My arms are around his shoulders in the span of a heartbeat—my hands holding his head, my fingers in his hair. I breathe him in like my life depends on it. Absorb every sensation and memorize every second...because I’m starving too.

  “Why did you disappear?” I ask breathlessly as we transition from kissing to clutching one another in a crushing hug. He smells so damn good, feels so damn good against me, I fight the urge to climb him like a ladder. As it is, I never want to let go.

  “I didn’t disappear. I was reassigned. I didn’t know how to tell you.”

  I want to buy it, every word, but I’m suspicious. How can I not be? The hug relaxes into a warm embrace, neither of us willing to step away just yet. “So, you just stopped talking to me?”

  He releases my waist and takes hold of my face instead. The way he looks down at me, directly into my eyes, tears into me, stripping me bare. I’m fully exposed, vulnerable to him now.

  I never really stood a chance.

  “I never meant to hurt you, baby.”

  I want to look away, but I can’t. I want to say something, but there are too many words, all vying to get out at once. My silence speaks for itself.

  “I’m not here to break your heart, remember?”

  I’m not so sure about that. I once told him that he had the power to hurt me. He already has once. If I’m not careful, my heart will get broken again, and I’m honestly not sure if it’s in any condition to survive another fall.

  “Yeah, I remember,” I reply softly. This exchange is painful, yet it’s exactly what I want. My head tells me he’s just saying what he knows I want to hear. My heart is saying give it a chance. And if I’m honest with myself, I know I’m going to follow my heart. It might steer me wrong, and I can’t afford another heartbreak so soon after the last one…but I also can’t afford to walk away from this.

  The fact of the matter is, I’m not done here. Alejandro is something I have to pursue, explore to my satisfaction. Otherwise, I’ll always look back on this time in my life with regret.

  It’s a curious thing, to be aware that you’re likely signing your own death warrant and not even care, because the truth is, you can’t tell your heart not to feel just because you don’t want to feel it.

  He kisses me, quick but sweet. “Do you remember what I told you before?”

  “When?” We exchanged so many texts, it could be anything.

  “The first day.”

  “Uhhh, I’m not sure. Remind me.”

  He smirks, and now I’m more curious than ever. My mind races through all the texts. I remember a lot, maybe everything, but I can’t settle on just one.

  “It was love at first picture.”

  Lifting onto my toes, I kiss him again. Alejandro is charming, through and through, and I love it. “You’re dangerous for my self-control,” I tease.

  “That’s right, Mami. I’m a dangerous man.”

  I don’t doubt it for a second. Now that the initial flare of excitement is beginning to wear off, I remember the time. I grimace. “I need to finish getting ready and get the kids off to school.” I’d invite him inside, but I’m not ready for my kids to meet him yet. Until I feel certain of this—whatever it is between us—they don’t need to be involved.

  He smiles softly in understanding. “All right, Mami. You go take care of your kids.”

  I hesitate, not wanting to leave
his side in case I never see him again. “How long are you here?”

  “Today. I’m just passing through, but I had to see you.”

  I hate his answer. But I also kind of love it. “I’m glad you did.”

  “Listen, go do what you got to do, then call me.”

  I bite my lip, scraping my teeth across the kiss-tender flesh. “Okay.”

  Clasping the back of my neck, he draws me in again and says, “I’ll see you soon, baby,” then kisses me until my toes curl.

  2

  I’ve completely shirked my responsibilities for the day in favor of spending it with Alejandro. Whatever time I can steal with him, I will. I’ve made up my mind, and I plan to see this through to the end.

  After dropping the girls off, I did exactly what he told me to and called him. Unable to stay at the house because my oldest is homeschooled, I was in his rental car within the hour. We hold hands the entire drive, and I admire the darkness of his skin against the paleness of mine. He has strong hands, making mine look delicate and petite. The contradiction makes my stomach flip.

  The drive isn’t long. We picked up coffee before stopping at a nearby park. It’s early—and cold—so the place is deserted but for a single jogger I spotted as we came in.

  There are parking lots dotted around the park, and Alejandro pulls into one that is shrouded with overgrown trees and brush. He parks in a far-off corner blanketed in shadows and turns off the engine.

  I haven’t touched my coffee. It just sits, nestled between my legs, radiating warmth. I’m not interested in it at all. I only got one because he did. I’m most concerned with what happens next. I’m no good at small talk, and to be honest, the only thing I want to do right now is climb into his lap and make up for lost time.

  I’d once told him he makes me crazy…and I meant it.

  We’re in a fairly public place, and I’m thinking things I normally wouldn’t. But he makes me lose my inhibitions, makes me want to drop the filter I run my life through and just live in the moment—damn the consequences.

  “So, are you seeing anyone?” Alejandro asks, breaking the silence.

  My eyebrows shoot up. “Uh, no.” How could I even think about seeing another man when I haven’t gotten him out of my system yet? But then I wonder… “Are you?”

  His head, tilted down, turns, and he looks at me from beneath a fringe of dark lashes. “No. I’m still attached to you.”

  My heart thumps loudly. Oh, man, if I wasn’t doomed before, I am now. He knows exactly the right things to say to hook me. Logic and reason try to speak out, to contradict him, but I don’t care to hear what they have to say. Is it wrong to want to just live in the moment for once, to allow myself to just feel and live and experience without worrying what comes tomorrow?

  “Good, because I’m attached to you too,” I tell him. His thumb caresses the back of my hand. I luxuriate in the moment before asking him something in return. “What happened, Alejandro? Why did you just stop talking?”

  His face is a mask of contrition. I can see he’s struggling, whether he’s avoiding saying anything or he’s trying to find the words, I don’t know, so I offer an explanation of my own.

  “Is it because I’m still married?”

  “Is he trying to come back at all?” he asks instead.

  “No. I told you, we’re going for divorce.” My husband has made it clear that he doesn’t want me anymore, and I don’t want him. What I want is sitting right in front of me.

  “Okay, good,” he says, those luscious lips turning up at the corners.

  “So…” I say expectantly.

  “So…” He sucks in a breath, and I brace myself for whatever he’s about to say next. “I was engaged before. She was getting divorced and when her husband found out about us, he made it hard on her. Threatened to keep their kid away from her.”

  I make a face, because the very idea of that happening is appalling. What kind of person puts an innocent child in the middle like that? If my husband ever tried to pull something like that on me, I’d cut him off at the knees.

  “It drove me crazy, and eventually, I walked away.”

  There are a few things running through my mind. One is this is coming from the man who told me on our first date that he would rather be deported than get married, despite not actually being against marriage. Maybe he was thinking of this situation in particular? Could he be as scarred as I am? Another thought is that he must seek out married women or something. What are the odds he’d end up with one twice in a row? And another is…

  “Is that why you disappeared? Did you think it would turn out the same with us?”

  He shrugs. “Do you still love him?”

  “Of course I do. He’s the father of my kids. I’ll always love him. But I’m not in love with him.” The truth is, I can barely bring myself to like my ex most days. I’ve all but lost total respect for him, and like trust, that’s not an easy thing to get back.

  He nods, soaking my words in. “I like how you answer.”

  “I’m just being honest.”

  “I believe you.”

  I hope so, because sitting beside him, staring into his beautiful eyes, I am ready to call the divorce lawyer and get the process rolling once and for all. Maybe even put a rush on it if possible in order to be free with this man who makes my insides quake without feeling like I’m giving him a raw deal.

  “Mami…” He sighs deeply. “You didn’t get pregnant, right?”

  I hesitate. This is something I’ve questioned more than a dozen times. I haven’t had a baby in over a decade, but I know when something isn’t right with my body, and the signs are all there—sore breasts, queasiness, spotting, and of course, the faint positive test. Still, I don’t want to believe it. I need hard evidence before I can say for certain.

  “I don’t know,” I admit, even though I want to say absolutely not. Staring into his eyes, I just can’t lie—not even a little bit.

  Alejandro’s gaze is intense. “You can’t lie to me, Julie.”

  I hear the plea in his voice. It echoes throughout my thoughts all day every day. “I’m not. I’d never lie to you,” I swear. He has to know that. I give him the abbreviated version of what’s been going on with me since he’s been gone.

  “It’s just hard to believe. I did what you said.”

  Yes, he did. During that heated moment in his hotel room, we’d both lost our minds to passion. It wasn’t until the last moment that I had the presence of mind to remember that I wasn’t on birth control and we were completely unprotected. He’d pulled out…but we both know there are no guarantees when it comes to that.

  “I know,” I agree. “But nothing is definite. And I never would have said anything unless I knew there was something to say…but you asked.” And, again, I just can’t lie to this man. I don’t have it in me.

  Staring down at our joined hands, he nods. Silence persists, and my heart thunders in my ears as I wait to hear what he has to say next. I feel as though we’re standing on a precipice, and the worst thing is, I have no clue what awaits me on either side of it. No matter which way it goes, I’m going to fall—hard.

  “I really missed you,” Alejandro says, and suddenly, it’s as if I can finally breathe again.

  That’s it. I can’t stand it anymore. Even the console is too much distance. Taking matters into my own hands, I unsnap my seatbelt, Put the coffee cup on the dashboard, and lean over. Cupping his jaw, I kiss him with everything I’ve got. He needs to know how much I missed him, too, and no words would ever do it justice. Instead, I show him.

  With him holding the back of my head and me holding his face, we throw ourselves into the kiss. Between us, our fingers twine together on the console…but it just doesn’t feel close enough.

  I allow my hand to roam down to his neck, feeling the corded muscles, his rapid pulse beating against my palm, then I move lower to his chest, his waist, around to his back. I grip his shirt tight, fighting the need to pull him closer.
/>   He’s not fairing any better. Transferring his hand to my thigh, Alejandro curls his fingers under my knee and hitches my leg up. I know what he wants. It’s the same thing I want. Maybe more.

  Briefly, I consider telling him no, but I can’t bring myself to do that. There’s no denying him. “Ven aca. Come here,” he murmurs against my mouth as he tugs me to him, guiding the way.

  In the back of my head a voice screams that we’re going to get caught, but I’m already climbing into his lap, bracketing his legs with my own as he pushes the seat as far back as it will go to make room.

  My ass hits the horn, and it blares into the tranquil morning. We both glance up and around, as if two teenagers about to get caught. But it’s just us. I grin then pull him back to me for another kiss. I can’t get enough of this man.

  His hands are under my shirt, cupping my breasts. The heat of his palms is an aphrodisiac in itself, but the taste of him on my tongue and the hard ridge of his cock between my legs is what threatens to send me over the edge.

  I should have worn a dress. At least the yoga pants are stretchy. They allow his hand easy access as he delves past the waistband and slips his fingers inside me. Shit, it’s been too long since I felt his touch, since I heard his breath in my ear as he sucks the lobe between his lips.

  My fingers grip the headrest, digging in as I struggle to contain myself. We’re going to get caught.

  I honestly don’t care.

  What is this man turning me into?

  Zero self-control. It’s very unlike me. Yet I love how I am with him, how he makes me feel. I imagine I would do just about anything for my papi, and all he’d have to do is ask.

  It’s the accent, probably. Or those eyes, so soft and gentle and full of seduction. Or maybe it’s the charm that oozes from his pores or the way he seems to know just the right words and actions to turn me into putty in his hands.

  Whatever it is, Alejandro’s got me…and I hope he never lets go.

  Pulling the cups of my bra down, Alejandro dips his head beneath my shirt and sucks my nipple into his mouth. The glide of his tongue over the sensitive bud makes me shiver, and when he bites down lightly, it sends a shock straight to my clit. The ache between my legs intensifies, throbbing almost painfully, and the need to feel him inside me becomes almost unbearable.