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  Alyson felt the pain of loss all over again.

  “Well, I think that went well,” Liv said, dropping down next to her feet. “I gotta hand it to you, though. When you drink, you go all out. We really need to work on your tolerance, though. We can’t have you getting shitfaced over one drink. It’s embarrassing.”

  “I had three,” Alyson muttered.

  “No, honey,” Liv laughed, “you had one. By the time you emptied your glass, you were seeing everything in triplicate. Makes for some interesting times, though, I have to say. By the way, Jeremy wants to know if you’d consider working the stage sometime. He thinks you might have some hidden talent.”

  Yanking her arm down, Alyson’s eyes bugged out. “What?”

  Liv patted her knee. “No worries. I made sure your top was back on before Jami showed up. Now that would have been something!”

  Alyson’s stomach turned once more, and that was all it took. Groaning, she barely managed to say, “I think I’m gonna be sick,” before everything she’d ingested that day came back up.

  With a shriek, Olivia managed to escape the worst of it, but sadly, her faux bear skin rug wasn’t so lucky.

  TWENTY-THREE

  Hell had nothing on the kind of pain Alyson was experiencing when she rolled out of bed—bed? Surveying her surroundings, she realized she was in Liv’s room. Whaaa….? Her thoughts tangled together as she struggled to remember why, but several minutes of staring at the blank wall failed to provide her with any answers. She had woken with a start, though she didn’t know why. Her head and abs sent daggers of pain ripping through her body with every move. Her eyes felt like sandpaper, and her mouth tasted like she’d eaten road kill.

  Climbing out of bed, she tripped over an empty bucket. Cursing, she kicked it out of the way and with measured steps, stumbled into the bathroom, groaning when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She looked like road kill. Massaging her cheeks, Alyson scrunched her nose up. What little make-up she’d worn last night was either long gone or smeared. There was a streak of rose colored lipstick across one side of her mouth and remnants of black liquid eyeliner now rested beneath her eyes. Her hair, once drawn back into a tight, functional ponytail, was now sitting on the left side of her head, the long, straight strands mangled into a ball of knots that gave her pause to consider whether there was a brush on the planet strong enough to cut through them.

  “You’re a mess, Blake,” she informed her reflection. After drinking down a couple of pain killers she had found in the medicine cabinet, Alyson climbed into the shower and cranked the heat up as high as it would go without scalding herself.

  Thoughts of the previous night came back to her slowly and in fragments. She had a few drinks. She’d danced and laughed. She also remembered Jami, throwing up, and someone screaming. Oh, God. Did I throw up on Jami?

  Then she had to ask herself why he was even there. She hadn’t spoken to him in well over a week. Maybe his being there was just a figment of her alcohol addled brain. Wishful thinking.

  Pressing her forehead to the cool tiles, Alyson moaned as hot water sluiced down her spine. If ever there had been a better time for one, she needed a do-over. Desperately.

  After using up all the hot water, Alyson toweled off and got dressed. She needed to check in with Liv to make sure she hadn’t made a total fool of herself, and then she needed to call Jeremy to make sure she still had a job.

  What a mess.

  As she left the steam-filled bathroom, Alyson heard her phone chirping from the quiet living room indicating that she had a new message. She followed the sound, and found Olivia standing over the couch, dumping an entire box of baking soda on the rug.

  “What are you doing?” Alyson asking, squinting against the harsh light coming in through the small bank of windows.

  “Deodorizing my home, since somebody can’t hold their liquor.” She gave Alyson a pointed look.

  Eyes wide, Alyson asked, “Did I…?”

  Stepping back with a huff, Liv studied the floor. “Throw up all over me and my one of a kind Persian rug? Yes. Yes, you certainly did.”

  She’d hardly call a used faux bear skin area rug Persian or fine anything, but Alyson made sure to put on the proper show of respect and contrition. “Sorry, I guess I must have overdone it last night.”

  “Oh, you most certainly did. I’m going to have to throw Beary out,” she announced, throwing her hands up.

  “Sorry,” Alyson repeated. Her phone chirped again, and Alyson moved around the table, keeping a wide berth to avoid the mountain of baking soda. Retrieving her purse from the corner of one of the side chairs, she dug her phone out and read the text.

  R U awake? Need to talk 2U.

  It was from Jami. Relief washed over her like cool bath water. She hadn’t realized just how worried she was until that moment. She felt like she could breathe again. Just as fast, her stomach dropped to her feet, and her heart began to race, the possibilities of what he might have to say to her putting her on edge. Would it be good? Bad?

  “I take it that’s Jami calling?” Alyson’s head snapped up, and she gave Olivia a questioning frown. Pointing to the phone in her hands, Olivia said, “He’s the only person I know that gives you that constipated look.”

  “I do not look constipated.” Alyson sneered, her cheeks flaming.

  “Trust me, you do. That guy has you all bound up inside.” Alyson couldn’t argue with that. “So, what does he want?”

  “To talk,” she replied, looking up at her. “What do I say? The last time we talked, he broke up with me.”

  “So, maybe he’s finally come to his senses and wants you back.” Liv shrugged, sitting down on the arm of the couch.

  “And if he doesn’t?”

  “Then he’s as stupid as the rest of the men in the world. Look,” Liv said, reaching out to touch Alyson’s wrist. “If Jami can’t see how special you are, then count yourself lucky you got out early and move on. But I really don’t think that’s the case here. I mean, you should have seen the guy when he walked into the bar last night. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that shade of red before, and the way he tore you off that pole? I had flashbacks to Officer and a Gentleman. It was off the charts romantic. The man is seriously into you. And need I tell you that he didn’t have to come? The instant he heard you needed him he was there. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.” Giving her wrist a tender squeeze, Liv rose. “Think about it.”

  Biting her lip, Alyson forced away the horror of Liv’s words and considered her response. Jami had come to her rescue last night and saved her from embarrassing herself even more than she suspected she already had. And according to Liv, he didn’t hesitate. Was that love, or simply an act of friendship?

  She was certain of one thing. If she wanted answers, then she needed to talk to him. She was still pretty hurt over what had happened and figured they’d probably end up getting into another argument, but her curiosity eventually won out. Moving her fingers over the buttons, she typed out her reply.

  Just woke up.She paused, considering her schedule for the day. She needed to get ahold of Jeremy, apologize for last night, and see if she still had a job.With her luck, he’d probably laugh in her face, but didn’t Liv say that he thought she might be a good dancer? Not that she would ever consider such an offer, but it did give her a little hope that he wasn’t too pissed off at her. She had to know, sooner rather than later. Have something 2 do. Later?

  Jami’s response was quick. Where r u going? Will meet you.

  Can’t. Working, Alyson fired off. Hopefully.

  Need to talk about that 2.

  Great, just what she needed, the third degree. Irritated,she continued typing.Not up for discussion.

  There was a pause, and Alyson almost smiled thinking of what must be running through Jami’s head now. Maybe it had exploded. Jami wasn’t very good at diplomacy when it came to her.

  Fine. Breakfast? You need to eat.

  Alyson smiled as her
fingers flew over the keys. Even from a distance, he was pushy. No talking?

  No promises.

  When do you want to meet?

  There was a knock at the door, and Alyson got up to answer it. Jami stood on the other side, his expression tight. Holding up his phone, he gave it a little wiggle. “How’s right now work for you?”

  Alyson couldn’t keep the smile from her face. Stepping back to allow him inside, she crossed the room and tucked her phone back into her purse. “I guess since you’re already here, now is as good a time as any.” When she turned around, she almost ran into Jami’s chest, he was standing so close. Grasping her shoulders, he steadied her.

  He looked her over, his face giving nothing away. It was impossible to gauge what kind of mood he was in, which made Alyson a little nervous. She liked to know what she was walking into. “How are you feeling?”

  Gently pulling away, Alyson swallowed. “Better, I think. I have a little headache.”

  Surprising her, Jami moved her hair behind her ear. The familiar act was so tender that her heart skipped a beat. “Breakfast should help with that.”

  She nodded, lowering her eyes to escape the intensity of his. “I’ll go get my shoes on.”

  ***

  Jami didn’t take her to a restaurant as she expected.

  “We’re eating breakfast here?” Alyson asked as she opened the door and stepped down from the truck. A brisk breeze pushed her hair back from her face, and Alyson closed her eyes briefly, enjoying the fresh air.

  Retrieving a small backpack from the backseat, Jami tossed it over his shoulder and took her hand. “Yep. It’s too nice a day to spend it cooped up indoors.” He pulled her along, leading her across the sandy playground to a stone covered trail that disappeared into a dense line of trees.

  With the exception of a few joggers, the park was deserted this early in the day.

  Alyson agreed. The weather was perfect, and even though they had only been there a few minutes, she was already enjoying the peaceful calm that seemed to blanket the area. Setting the pack on the ground, Jami presented her with a dazzling smile. “Well,” he said, holding his arms out to his sides, “what do you think?”

  She looked around, a serene smile curving her lips. “Jami, it’s beautiful.” Crisp, clear water flowed smoothly down a narrow stream, emptying out into a large pond that wound past the bank they stood on, and further until it curved out of sight. On the opposite side, a small group of ducks waddled over the lush green grass, occasionally pecking at the ground. “It’s the perfect spot. How did you find it?”

  Pulling a blanket from the backpack, Jami handed her two corners, and together they spread it over the cool earth. “I noticed it one morning while jogging. I knew right away I wanted to bring you here someday.” His dark eyes looked up at her from beneath the thick row of lashes, and one corner of his mouth turned up. “I guess it’s someday.”

  Alyson felt her cheeks color. Sitting, she curled her feet beneath her and watched as Jami laid out containers. “When did you start jogging?”

  Opening a container filled with cut fruit, he held it out to her. Selecting a wedge of cantaloupe, Alyson popped it into her mouth and waited for his answer. “I jog all the time.”

  “Oh, I guess I just assumed you did all your training at the gym.”

  “I do. Well, I did. I guess I just needed a change of scenery,” he said, looking out at the water. One of the ducks proceeded to dive into the pond, disappearing beneath the surface.

  Quietly, he turned his attention back to the food. He’d come prepared. Alyson admired the display of fresh foods and laughed outright at the bag of donuts. “You’re kidding,” she exclaimed. “Does Don know you’re eating those?”

  Biting into a chocolate glazed donut, Jami beamed. “What Don doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” he said around the mouthful.

  Shaking her head, Alyson picked out one with sprinkles on it. Her stomach twisted as she prepared herself to get down to business. “So,” she started, picking off a corner of the pastry, “what did you want to talk about?”

  Finishing off his donut, Jami stretched out, propping up on one elbow. “First, I want to clear the air. I’m not mad at you. What happened at the gym is done and over.”

  “Are you sure about that? You seemed pretty upset to me.” Memories from that day surfaced, and Alyson had to tamp down her swelling emotions.

  “Jesus, you’re not going to cry, are you?” Alyson accepted the napkin he offered and clenched it in both of her hands. Jami cursed under his breath. “I swear. That’s all you seem to do anymore. I keep telling myself this is going to work out, but then I see this,” he said, waving his hand impatiently at her, “and I can’t help wondering if you would be better off if I just walked away now before I hurt you even more than I already have.”

  Alyson’s head was shaking furiously. “No, don’t do that. I’m happy being with you. Really,” she insisted when he gave her a look that seemed to say ‘sure you are.’ “It’s just the fighting and everything that’s been going on. It’s been a bad month.”

  Jami snorted. “You’re telling me.” He stared off again, watching the ducks, all of which were now happily swimming, completely oblivious to their turmoil. “Sometimes, I wish we could just wipe the slate clean and start over.” Alyson wholly agreed with that. “But we can’t. What we can do is put it all behind us and move forward.”

  “I’d like that,” Alyson said softly.

  “Good. Me, too.” Reaching across the blanket, Jami folded her hand in his. “If this is going to work, there has to be complete honesty. I have to know that you’re not keeping things from me.”

  “Jami, I didn’t mean to keep anything from you. It just never seemed like a good time, and you were already dealing with so much—”

  “I can handle it,” Jami interrupted. “Trust me on that.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Have you seen these shoulders?” he teased. “Look, I don’t care what it is or what is going on. I want to know everything that is happening with you. That’s the only way this relationship is going to work.” Alyson nodded. “I know Tony was just trying to stir the pot, and I’m pissed as hell that I let him. I’m sorry that I took it out on you. I overreacted when I should have stopped and just talked to you about it. Forgive me?”

  “Only if you forgive me,” she returned.

  “Done.” Leaning over, Jami brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “Now, tell me something you want from me.”

  Her answer was quick. “Stop walking away. Every time we have a disagreement, you cut and run.” And it killed her every time.

  “I do do that, don’t I?” He brushed another kiss over the back of her hand. “I’m sorry. From now on, I’ll do my best to stick around, but I can’t promise I won’t ever do it again. I’ve never been great at facing my feelings, and sometimes I just need a little distance to get my head on straight.”

  Alyson studied his earnest expression. “I can understand that,” she conceded. “And if you have to leave, just promise me that you will come back. I hate feeling like my life is on pause while I wait to find out what your next move will be.”

  He grimaced, focusing on their joined hands where his thumb traced tight circles over the tops of her fingers. “I promise that won’t happen again, and if it does, you have my permission to kick my ass.”

  “I would never do that,” she chuckled.

  “There’s that smile,” Jami said quietly, watching her face so intently she had to look away. “You’re beautiful when you blush.” His fingers touched her cheek, and Alyson turned her face into his hand, closing her eyes at the contact. “You don’t know how much I want to kiss you right now.”

  Alyson pressed a kiss into his palm. “Then what are you waiting for?”

  Pulling away, Alyson felt her disappointment down to her marrow. Jami’s eyes clouded over, and he began placing the containers back into the pack. “There’s more I want to talk abo
ut first. Like this job. Ally, what were you thinking? A strip club, really?”

  Rolling her eyes at him, Alyson said, “It’s also a bar, and I was thinking that I needed the money. I can’t really expect to mooch off Liv forever, and it’s not like I have any money to fall back on anymore.” Jami flinched. Alyson rushed to reassure him. “That was my decision, and I don’t want you to feel guilty about it, but I do need a job, and until I can find a better one, this is going to have to do. It’s honest work.”

  Jami looked at her as if she were crazy, but wisely decided against voicing his opinion on her current mental state. “That may be, but I’m not sure I like having my girlfriend working in a bar. I especially don’t like the kind of people who go to that bar and ogle her. And I especially don’t like finding my girlfriend working a stripper pole looking like she just stepped out of my wet dream.”

  “You still have those?” Alyson joked. Turning onto her stomach, she stretched her legs out and looked Jami in his brown eyes.

  “Smart mouth,” Jami remarked, pecking her on the nose. “And, yes, when it comes to you, I can’t help myself. And that’s why you can’t work there anymore. There are too many men looking to get their grubby hands on you. So, unless you want to spend the rest of your days visiting me behind bars, then you’re going to find something else.”

  Annoyance shot through her, and Alyson pushed back onto her knees. “And what exactly do you suggest I do, Jami? It’s not as if anyone is going to hire me as a social worker again. I might have to move to another city if I ever expect to get another position like that.”

  “Probably, but until you do,” Jami said, sitting up, his new position bringing them face to face, “you’ll come work for me.” His hand slid beneath her hair and cupped the back of her head.

  “Work for you?”

  “Think about it. We could spend every day together. We’d never have to be apart.” His gaze dropped to her parted lips, and he didn’t hesitate. Alyson sighed at the first touch of his lips against hers, her hands moving up his chest to curl around the back of his neck.